Poker murders – slow play you do pay

Poker murders are again in the news and we have a Singapore poker Strait murder and a very well executed poker move.

We start of in Singapore, the former British Colony, where it is illegal to chew gum unless it is for ‘therapeutic’ reasons which makes it sound like the old Marijuana, so murdering someone over a game of poker is not likely to be laughed at. But you never know and it might be lower on the misdemeanor list than chewing that anarchic gum.

Slow play does pay? Slow play does pay with your life if you are playing against Hua Kim Chye. There they were, a group of friends playing Chinese poker around the old fish pond and necking back a few beers when Mr Tay Chai Huat and another man did what friends do and had a bit of fun about Hua Kim Chye’s slow dealing of the cards. So he killed Mr Tay Chai Huat as you do.

In a Chinese Poker whisper Hua Kim Chye was rumoured to say

All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don’t break ’em for no one, you understand?

Hua Kim Chye still has his balls but has lost 7 years of his life and perhaps now his anal virginity.


Well executed poker move

In the USA the Timothy Cassidy murder trial is still waiting a verdict from the jury after at least 4 days of deliberation. We wont go into who said what, who accused who etc because if after 4 days you don’t know who done it then you are not playing Cluedo or really like the hotel accommodation and all the free food and drink that goes with it.

The alleged murder of James Madonna is said to be a poker murder when, after a game of Texas Holdem poker in a Holiday Inn, Timothy Cassidy and James Madonna went to a secluded parking area and James Madonna was killed in an execution style with 1 shot to the neck and 4 to the back of the head.

poker murder stories story news
Poker murder news stories - a well executed poker move

As we all know in poker you can not give a man a free card because it could come back to kill you and it looks like whoever did murder James Madonna was just making sure he would never turn but would get across the River Styx.

In a Chinese Poker whisper Timothy Cassidy was rumoured as saying

He sneered at me and he said “And you still called after that? You retard! You were drawing dead.”

So I was kind enough to correct the error of his trailer park upbringing ways and show him what it actually meant. I was successful in my quest and I can claim that he never made another mistake, he lived a perfect life for the rest of his minutes.


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Zak ‘PenFold’ Vella – Our expert of all things Maltese and Italian. One of the main people responsible for opening up the Italian market and bringing the joys of Enetpoker Network to the rest of the world. For which one day Zak will be knighted. Also known in the Content writing business as ‘Mr Google Translate’ as he can speak and write in more languages than it can.